Another gone

So, another relationship has gone. I was seeing the lady in question on and off for three months, and she says via the net (but of course in the digital world) that she can't be with me. She tried, but she just can't. I just hate this. My life in the last year seems to have been endless heartache at women not being able to decide what they want in their life. I know i'm abit needy, but I don't ask for anything special. Just for someone to like me for who I am, and not to hide me and be proud they are with me. I've been dumped 7 times in the last seven years and only one has done it in person, there seems to be a basic lack of disrespect in the digital age. She lives 20 mininutes away, is it that much trouble?

Most of the issues in this one revolved around me getting annoyed when she would cancel, or try and change plans at short notice. I don't think this is the worst crime in the world, it comes down to some respect for me and my time. If I have planned something, I just like that it is followed through. I also had issues that she would not tell her friends about me. We had been together awhile, why the big secret? When we were together though, we were special and had alot of chemistry and we had a good future together. It is a shame though those times seem so few now. I recognise i'm not the easiest person to get on with; i'm stubborn and often want my own way. But I am not a bad person, and I can be very affectionate and loving. I feel as if she is just clinging for excuses, the lady must be the only person I have heard of complain that I wanted to do something that was she wanted to do for no other reason that it interested her and I wanted to share. WTF? I was also dumped on this day last year, maybe August is not a good month for me. Maybe some Dylan can cheer me up, he's got a new album out next month dontchya know..

Sorry to vent.

Salvation

I finally have my laptop back after nearly 3 months without. Go me :)

My favourite scene in cinema history

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/p1ow1b9ChvA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Well probably anyway, it certainly always makes me tingle with goosebumps. It;s from Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) by Sergio Leone. In the scene, Jill (Claudia Cardinale) arrived in Flagstone to meet her husband McBain who isn't waiting. The scene shows everything I love about the western. The isolation, the clothes, the music, the scenary. It is the ultimate tribute the western. Leone's previous films tended to be ona  smaller scale, so when the camera pans up he is showing off his town set. It is interesting to note that unlike most films, Ennio Morricone's score was actually composed before the film was shot after reading the script and instructions so Leone is actually able to stage it to the music which works up a wonderful moment as the camera finally pans up.

Also included are the only scenes shot in America, in Monument Valley. This setting was a regular feature in films by Leone's hero John Ford, and he is paying tribute to him as he allows the camera to capture the setting in all it's glory. Beautiful.

"take the ribbon from your hair"

Ok Ok. So I said I wouldn't do me updates on my blog for a while, but with my laptop still broke I could not help it :P Internet cafes are a fustrating experience of smelly old men looking at escorts and money down the drain, but I need to keep tabs on my life :D For some reason I am trying to grow a beard at the moment. It's been nearly 4 weeks now, and people are only starting too notice it which is a start. I've got the 'tash and bottom bits, but none of the connected parts. I'm going to keep it till my birthday and see how it looks.

The European Championships have been , and another German heartbreak for me as they excited at the semis again. I'm not genius, but even I could tell Low was wrong to stick an out of form Podolski and a pedastrian (no matter how hard my man crush for him is) Gomez. Gomez is a great finisher, but lacks the killer instinct and needs more than one chance a game. I still love his George McFly hairdo though. There is also a lack of men; one friend told me they just looked like nice pretty boys. I can see her point, there is no leaders like Effenberg and Kahn. It's hard to say what their chance will be in the World Cup in 2 years, especially with Spain creating history. Their 4-6-0 formation worked better than Roma's in 2008, yet I hope it doesn't take form in the rest of the game as forwards have been such a unique part of the game. Plus advertising would go down the crapper, defenders just don't sell shirts.

Life's been good

A quick update: Things are going pretty well at the moment. Enjoying the people at work, I have money to buy nice things and I can finally hear again! When they finally cleared, it was like swimming and your ears coming good again. I can't describe it, it is like I can hear better than I ever can; sometimes that is a curse and I'm still driving my colleagues nuts with my country music. On the downside, my old laptop died (luckily I saved all the info before) and my new one cracked it's screen after 9 days so it is out of commison. I also met a lady last month who chose to prioritise a cinema visit with nobodys over arranged plans with me, but it is her loss. I will get better luck soon i'm sure, but things are alright. I will write about something that is not me soon I swear :D

Common ground

For years, me and my Dad have struggled to find common ground. We never agree on most things, but we can carry a conversation well. He is money orientated, and is generally right wing. I am not, and am generally left wing learning towards socialism. He is emotionally distant, I lay mine bare. He is logical, I am not. He supports whatever I do which I am grateful for, but we never shared a passion until I discovered one we share.

You see, my Dad loves to collect vinyl records; a hobby I and also my twin brother share. Sure, we all collect different kinds, but it is so nice to actually share an interest and discuss it. My Dad collects northern soul records from his youth and then likes to sell them for a profile (see, money), my twin likes to collect hardcore/grind music to listen to where as I collect Bob Dylan vinyl just to say I have it. I don't even own a record player at the moment, but I have a ton of Dylan (and other truth be told) vinyl that I hope one day I will listen too. Because of my "issues", I tend to collect brand new releases only. My Dad has advised me on new places to get some, and just the joy of collecting. So, while we may not agree on everything it is nice to know that after nearly 27 years I can finally say me and my Father have the same hobby :D

P.S. I have been told many times recently I mince when I walk. I think that is rather endearing!

Being deaf

Well, for over the past week I have been deaf. Well I can still hear slightly, but with a 90 percent hearing loss as my ears are blocked. The pain of finally registering with a doctor, plus the incompitance of the A & E I went to is fustrating. Yesterday I thought to myself "oh I work in a hospital, why not go to A & E" now. I wait for 2 hours as you do, only for a 2 minute encounter with the GP who tells me "you need to go see your own GP". Well no shit, that is why I am seeing you! Gah the mind boggles. It was Iestyn's 3rd birthday on Monday, and I couldn't hear much of what he was saying to me. We had fun though, he enjoyed the Cars Duplo set I got him.

The one main advantage to being mostly deaf is that I get to avoid all the inane conversations on the tube. Trust me, you will be thankful for that one. The disadvantages fair outweigh that though. There is a constant ringing in my left ear that is surely torture in some form, I get to miss out on great music,  I keep on bumping into people as I can't hear them pass and my new favourite word is "what?".